One of the few advantages of internet dating (and also one of the main things I don't like about it, but that's another story) is that you get to present a perfect vision of what you think you look like. So don't rush it; take time to find some great looking photos of yourself. And if you don't have any, find a good photographer as, in the right hands, everyone can be made to look beautiful!
As I mentioned in this previous post, your profile will normally get the most attention when you've just joined a dating site, so take time to make sure it's good before you post it.
Anyway, here is a list of things to avoid when considering your photo options:
Having no photo
This is surprisingly common and I suspect that there are a number of reasons for it. The main one is likely to be because most dating websites vet photos before they are published to check that there's no nudity, nothing offensive, etc. (it's a shame about the first one). So until a real person has actually checked your photo, your profile text will appear alongside a photo of a giant question mark, or something to that effect.
But I have noticed that a large number of peoples' profiles remain like this for weeks, which isn't going to help you get dates. Perhaps some people think that their personality will shine through enough not to need a photo and that some incredibly un-shallow person will find them; unlikely. Maybe you don't want any friends or colleagues to recognise you on there? Well, if they do, the chances are that they're just as embarrassed about being on there as you are. Or maybe you're on there to spy on an ex/someone you've already been on a date with and don't want to be recognised. In which case, fair play.
An intimate pose with a large man
Be he an ex-boyfriend, just a friend, or a family member, it's intimidating seeing some humongous burly man with his arm around you. There's no way I'll ever be as strong as that guy (whoever he is), so you're putting weedy little me off getting in touch. Although perhaps that's the idea.
It's also off putting in that it makes me imagine that you're not very independent and that the only photos you have are of you and whoever you used to go out with.
Sometimes the faces of these men are blurred out or have a black square over them, which just makes my suspicions that he's an ex-boyfriend of yours even stronger.
A crowd
Ok, so you're surrounded by people at some exciting looking event: you're popular, I get it. But, like, which one is you?
In the distance
Similarly to the previous point, it's kind of nice to see what you look like. Or are you just incredibly small?
'Arty' photos that you've taken, which don't have you in them
A lot of people don't seem to realise this, but people like Robert Capa and Henri Cartier-Bresson didn't find fame thanks to being spotted by the head of a world-famous photo agency, who happened to be single and trawling internet dating sites to find the next big star in the photography world. Please stick to photos of yourself.
Surprisingly common clichés
There are a number of poses I have found to be surprisingly popular among the women on the dating site I use. These are: skiing (you're a showoff), wearing a false comedy moustache (you're not funny), white women wearing a bindi (you are a gap yaaaah bore), and handing out food to starving African children.
You'd be amazed how many women think these photos are a good idea. I think I actually once found a woman who had included all four of these in her profile.
Rolling back the years
Some women like to post photos of themselves looking youthful. This is fine if they are still youthful and the photo was taken say, no longer than a year ago. But I have been on several dates with people who bear very little relation to the photo shown on their profile and must have it in their heads that they still look the same as five years ago.This is fine if you are intending to conduct an internet-only relationship (a la Catfish) but, assuming you may actually want to meet the person you've been courting online, the truth will eventually out. It makes finding you in a bar on your first date incredibly difficult. And hey, some of us may actually like the look of a more mature woman, so don't be afraid.
Other Notes
Some other common mistakes include: showing only one photo (which is not enough for anyone to go on to get a good idea of what you look like), or providing loads of photos, but where you look completely different in each one and it's impossible to tell whether it's really the same person (e.g. different hair colour/age in each).
Occasionally I find that the photo someone has selected as their primary one is average, then I click to see her full profile and discover that she looks stunning in all of her other photos. Jackpot!
In these cases I always want to send the woman a message telling her that, if she only swapped her photos around a bit, she'd be getting tonnes more messages from people. But then I think twice and decide to keep this to myself to lower any potential competition.
So it's up to you to experiment with this. Perhaps it's worth getting the opinion of a few trusted friends (preferably of the same sex as the one you're looking for) on how your profile looks.
